


Lost

by nadiaselite



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Becho Breakup, F/M, bellarke AU, but also soft, rough fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 16:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nadiaselite/pseuds/nadiaselite
Summary: Clarke goes missing and no one seems to care. No one except for Bellamy.





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything Bellarke in so long because ugh the show has destroyed everything I've known and loved, but I don't know this was kind of out of nowhere. Please feel free to leave some comments.

Everyone lounged around the ship each of them lost in conversation. Their first day of exploring the new planet seemed to have been successful. They enjoyed wine and fruits and new music. There was a complete shift in the atmosphere. It was like everything was finally starting to fall into place.

But something felt off. Something about it all made him feel like there was something missing. He scanned the room doing a quick check in his mind. _Echo, Raven, Jordan, Madi, Murphy, Emori, Abby, Kane, Miller, Jackson._ It wasn’t until his eyes fell back onto Madi that he realized. He quickly stood up making his way around the room to look for her.

“What are you looking for Bellamy?” Echo sat up, watching Bellamy as he frantically ran around the room. He looked distraught, but she couldn’t seem to figure out why. They had everything they’d ever needed. “Bellamy.”

Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair as he began to run through his mind trying to pinpoint the last time he’d seen her. Maybe it was in the market or by the clearing. She was looking at some flowers at a stand, yellow daisies that matched her golden hair.

He never even noticed when they’d parted ways. All he remembers was Echo whisking him away for a dip in the river. Everything after that was a blur. “Clarke. Where’s Clarke?"

“Who cares?” Raven sat up placing a hand on Shaw’s leg for support. She took a large swig of moonshine as she narrowed her eyes at Bellamy.

Bellamy felt the blood beneath his skin begin to boil. The sound of laughter at Raven’s snarky comment just made things worse. It was like Clarke didn't matter to them anymore like she was a no one.

“She’s probably somewhere convincing herself every shitty thing she does is for us.” Murphy rolled his eyes at him before letting out a laugh. Raven reached out to him clinking her steel glasses against his. Earning a light laugh from Echo.

"Oh just like you convinced yourself that shooting Raven in the leg and paralyzing her was an accident because you actually weren't aiming for her?" Bellamy folded his arms across his chest carefully watching as there was a shift in the atmosphere between them. "Or how about when you convinced yourself that every shitty thing you did was for your people? Killing half our people in Mount Weather including my ex-girlfriend. Kicking my sister off a cliff and leaving her for dead. Actually almost killed every single one of you in this room.” Bellamy clenched his fists tightly trying to stay sane.

“Yeah, well Clarke is no saint either. In case you forgot she left you to die.” Raven downed the rest of her drink before slamming the glass into the table. “If we're being honest if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t be alive right now.”

“She helped just as much as you did and you know that.” Bellamy took Murphy’s drink from his hand quickly downing it before wiping at his mouth with the back of his arm. “You guys are pathetic. You want to make Clarke the bad guy and for what? She has done nothing but been there for us all. She’s taken all your shit and for what? For you to not care if she’s dead or alive?”

Everyone exchanged looks as Bellamy's words sunk in.

"In case you forgot Murphy when you were being hung it was Clarke who fought for you. Even after you killed so many people she was the only person who even considered letting you back in even after you infested our camp with that disease. She's also the only reason your girlfriend is alive right now is because Clarke chose to inject herself with the nightblood instead of her." He gestured between Murphy and Emori, guilt rising in their cheeks. "And Raven come on are you of all people going to talk shit about her? When Murphy shot you in the leg Clarke was the one who kept you alive until the rest of Skaikru could come and take the bullet out of your leg. She was the reason Alie didn't kill you. I mean let's be real Raven."

Raven sat in silence contemplating everything Clarke had done for her. It was more than she could say for anyone else. Including Murphy, someone she'd forgiven for far worse. She'd saved her life in more ways than one.

"Let's not forget that she was the reason any of us made it to space. And you all have the audacity to sit around here and mock her?"

Echo stood up taking a few cautious steps towards him, a sad look in her eyes. She could feel the pain behind his voice and that crazed look in his eyes. “Bellamy.”

“No.” Bellamy’s voice echoed in the middle of the room drawing everyone’s attention to him. The room fell so silent that they could hear his heavy breathing as he tried to get a grasp of his emotions. “Every single one of you would be dead without her. That includes the people who lived in the bunker. If it wasn’t for her you’d still be fighting to the death and eating each other.”

Bellamy grabbed his jacket from his chair quickly slipping into it before tucking his gun into its holster. “I’m going after her because I know how important she is to us, _to me_.”

Echo tightened her hands into two tight fists. “Bellamy if you leave…”

“Then what? What are you going to do about it, huh Echo?” Bellamy let out a hysterical laugh once again running his fingers through his hair.

“Then don’t bother coming back.” Echo narrowed his eyes down at him. She was so tired of being second best for him. Even in space, all he ever talked about was her. And even after she left him to die he still loved her more.

Bellamy simply nodded throwing his backpack over his shoulder as he walked out of the room. The silence was deafening as they all sat around staring at each other’s faces. A large weight of guilt fell onto their shoulders as they contemplated everything Bellamy had said. But no one was bold enough to run after him.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he stormed out of the ship. They were so ungrateful. All of them. Clarke always recognized each of them for their talents. She saw the good in everyone, even

Echo. But all she got in return was backlash. Everyone’s mad about her leaving him to die, but no one cares about what he did to her. How much pain she must have been in because of him.

It wasn’t long before he found himself in the city. It was late so most people had gone back to their homes. A few people were still lingering in the dark night. The streets were lit up with candles placed at every corner. He couldn’t help but feel a tinge of hope. Even though it was late maybe she got caught up talking to someone. At least that’s what he was hoping for. It was clear she felt more accepted here than in the ship with the rest of their so-called friends.

After what felt like hours of searching he realized she wasn’t there and his stomach began to knot further. He was losing hope. He couldn’t afford to lose her, not after everything they’d been through.

He sat on the ground burying his face between his knees drowning in his own tears. Maybe she’d gone back to the ship by now. Maybe she just wanted a break and decided to stay in the city somewhere without telling anyone. Or maybe she was dead in a ditch and he was too late.

Since landing, he hadn’t had the chance to truly come to terms with everything that had happened between them. He wasn’t ready for any of it. It felt like there was so much that needed to be said but he just didn’t know how to say it. He needed to come to terms with his emotions, to really wrap his mind around all the loss and betrayal. It was almost too much to take in.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His stomach filling with hope he immediately looked over to be filled with disappointment all over again. Echo. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her as he shifted his attention back to the dark forest ahead of him.

“Bellamy, please.” Echo took a seat beside him. She just wanted him back. She wanted to go back to how happy they were in space before all of this happened before he knew Clarke was still alive. Where they spent their time training and testing different types of terrible algae.

“What do you want?”

“You. I want you. Please.” She placed her hand on his in a last ditch effort to pull him back to reality, but he swiftly pulled away. “How can you throw away everything we’ve had for someone who would leave you to die?”

“Because I left her to die too.” Bellamy’s jaw tightly clenched as the memory of leaving her behind ran through his head. The pain that haunted him every single day. She was left alone with Madi all those years because of him and when he came back he tried to take that away from the only person she had left. She had every right to be mad and leave him. He’d probably do the same thing. “You don’t know what happened. You don’t know what I did to her. If anyone’s to blame for me almost dying it’s Octavia and only Octavia.”

“You’re right. I don’t know. So tell me.” Echo was desperate and it was clear in her voice. But even she knew that this was hopeless.

“What’s the point? You say you’ve changed, but you still tried to kill her over something you didn’t know anything about. Just like the Echo you were before we went to space.” Bellamy quickly stood up again wiping at his tear-stained cheeks with the back of his hand. “Go back to the ship. I’ll be back when I find Clarke.”

“And what if you don’t find her?” Echo’s eyes shifted to his. There was a slight look of fear in them that he couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

“That’s not an option.” Bellamy unhooked the radio from his waistband pressing it into Echo’s chest before walking away.

After a long walk, he found himself at the river refilling his water bottle and washing off the tears from his face. He pulled his shirt off splashing some water onto his chest to help him stay awake. Bellamy felt sleepy, but if he wasted time sleeping who knew what could happen to her? He stopped mid splash when he thought he heard a noise his eyes quickly scanning the area. It almost felt fake until he heard it again.

“Clarke? Clarke is that you?” He pulled a flashlight from his backpack abandoning all his things as he ran around the river in search of where the noise came from. The soft groans seemed to be growing louder as he got closer to the edge of the forest.

And then there she was. Lying there on the cold forest floor. Her cheeks were stained with blood and she was stripped of a majority of her clothes leaving only her tank top and shorts, both covered in blood. All the rest of her things were gone as well.

“Clarke.” Her name fell off his lips like a prayer. And seeing her alive was definitely a blessing. He couldn’t help but feel guilty as he took in her appearance. “Who did this to you?”

She tried to speak but all she could manage was a few groans. So he quickly swept her up in his arms carrying her to the riverbank. Bellamy held her tight against his chest so close that she could probably feel his heart beating. He propped her up against his backpack covering her with his jacket.

He took his bottled water throwing some of it onto his shirt to clean her face off. Tears welled up in his eyes as he ran his shirt along with the features of her face. The blood that once stained her face now staining his shirt. He was too focused on how hurt she was to think about anything else. But as the blood was washed away he could finally see her, his Clarke.

Tilting her head back he poured some water into her mouth. Who knew how long she’d probably been lying there. Or even how badly she was injured. Clarke was the one who knew how to handle these things, not him. He tried to think of what she'd do if it were him.

She'd start by cleaning off his wounds to get a better view. Then she'd check for any significant bleeders. So, he did what she'd normally do. He finished cleaning her wounds and checked for any bleeding.

Bellamy tucked her hair behind her ear carefully running his finger along her cheeks. It was clear all the worst of it was over. She wasn’t bleeding anymore, but she was definitely in need of some rest. Maybe they just needed some time. Not to talk or do anything else, just to relax. It had been a long time since they’d had a chance to really spend some time alone. To just enjoy each other's presence.

“Looks like you’re not bleeding anymore. But it’s dark I think it’s best if we spend the night here.” Bellamy draped a large blanket over Clarke carefully tucking her in. A night alone was definitely something they needed. “Do you want some more water?”

Clarke nodded carefully pushing herself up with the little bit of strength she had left. She knew he didn’t have to come looking for her, definitely not after she’d basically left him to die. But something told her that he’d forgive her. They always ended up forgiving each other because at the end of the day the good outweighed the bad. It was clear neither of them was perfect and they both understood that.

“Thank you.” Clarke took the bottle from his hands downing as much water as possible. She felt exhausted like her entire body was about ready to give out, but she just wasn't willing to let herself go.

"Who did this to you?" Bellamy carefully placed his hand on her knee giving it a gentle squeeze. More of reassurance for himself than for her. Just feeling her skin against his own was enough to keep him sane. Even if every part of him was willing to act otherwise.

"Thieves." Clarke let out a deep breath as the painful memory resurfaced. She lied on the ground for hours just waiting for death to come and take her, but of course, Bellamy Blake would never let that happen. "They took everything."

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have been alone." His heart felt heavy as he stared down at her. This could have never happened if he was just there for her. But yet again he left her alone to suffer in silence. This was on him.

"Hey." Clarke cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand giving it a soft squeeze. She knew that look far too well. Even if it had been over a hundred years she still knew him better than she knew herself. "Don't do that."

Bellamy's eyes met hers. Even now he could read her like a book. It was clear she knew exactly what he was thinking without having to say a single thing. It was one of the things he appreciated most about her. Especially considering he was so bad at telling people how he felt. "Don't do what?"

"Oh, please. You think a few hundred years and I could just forget who Bellamy Blake is?" She flashed a weak smirk in his direction wanting nothing more than to lighten to mood. As rough as things had been for her lately she needed this, she needed him. "You may be the space dad now, but you'll always be Bellamy Blake."

He let out a laugh. A real laugh where his side hurt and his cheeks were sore. It'd been a while since he'd really let himself laugh. Maybe he was too scared. Or maybe he felt undeserving. But sitting underneath the star-filled sky with Clarke by his side things had never felt more right.

"I missed you." Bellamy's large grin slowly faded. Tears slowly welling up in his eyes threatening to run down his cheeks. The words weighed heavier than he'd anticipated. Saying them out loud only made it harder for him to accept. But it was the time he told her the truth, the whole truth.

Clarke couldn't contain herself as she shifted her attention out to the river beside them. Almost too scared to look him in the eyes. If only he knew. If only he could even fathom how she felt all those years without him. Not knowing if he was alive or not. It killed her to even think about how hard things had been without him and how she'd even gotten to live without him.

Clarke let out a weak chuckle in a lame attempt to mask the lump in her throat and the tears running down her cheeks. Luckily it was dark enough that maybe he hadn't noticed. But knowing Bellamy, he did. "You have no idea."

Bellamy shifted closer just close enough to see the tears on her cheeks glistening beneath the light of the stars above them. He carefully rubbed at the tears running down her face with the pad of his thumb. The intimacy at that moment struck a nerve leading him to release the emotions he'd kept pent up for so long. The tears uncontrollably rolled down his cheeks.

She felt his breath run down her neck and it tore her insides apart. They needed this, she needed this. But still, she felt like there was some sort of barrier between them. She was too scared to allow herself to touch him, the fear of what might happen next too much for her to bear.

They sat in silence neither of them strong enough to make a move or ruin the moment. Even though they were both crying their eyes out it was the happiest either of them had been in a long time. The tension that once ran through them was now gone. The biggest relief either of them had felt in years.

"Bell?"

He couldn't take it anymore. Hearing his name roll off her tongue so easily was enough to get his blood rushing. Taking her by the hand he pulled her into his chest. Close enough so that their faces were inches from each other, their breath growing heavier, and their eyes locked onto one another. There was a spark of electricity between them that neither of them could contain.

"But Bellamy." She fought every part of her not to press her lips into his. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath trying to maintain her composure because if she looked into those deep brown eyes any longer she knew she'd be in trouble. And she wasn't ready to give anyone another reason to hate her.

"It's okay." Bellamy cradled her face in the palms of his hands, pressing his forehead against hers. "It's just you and me now. I promise."

And before either of them could utter another word their lips were locked on one another. He pulled her on top of his bare chest allowing his hands to run through her hair.

As he ran his hand down her side she immediately jolted back. The pain from the brutal beating she'd taken earlier now coming back to haunt her.

Bellamy quickly sat up, his arms protectively wrapping around Clarke's waist as she straddled him. "Sorry. Are you okay?"

Clarke let out a light laugh as she pressed another chaste kiss to his lips. "Maybe we should take things a little slow for now."

He reciprocated her kiss with another one. Damn, he could get used to this. She made him feel like a teenage girl absolutely giddy with excitement.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Clarke wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt absolutely complete, like all the stars in her life had finally aligned. And maybe her life wasn't as doomed or depressing as she thought it was.

"Well, that makes two of us." Bellamy pressed a few more kisses to her lips before pulling her back on top of his chest. As they settled in Clarke wrapped the blanket around the two of them, tucking his backpack beneath his head.

She lied with her head on his chest carefully tracing the tip of her finger along some of the scars that masked his chest. Battle scars from what felt like a lifetime ago. "So, Echo?"

Bellamy felt his heart twitch as he held her hand against his chest. He knew this was what he wanted for as long as he'd known Clarke. Even if most times he felt he was undeserving. He just shook his head not knowing what he could possibly say to make her understand.

"Life on the ground really sucks." Maybe it didn't, but she couldn't say that. Not yet anyway. Really she was glad he finally came to his senses because she really couldn't stand Echo.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead rubbing soft circles into her spine. "I have to disagree. Coming here may have been the best thing to ever happen to us."

Clarke softly let out a smile as she buried her face into his chest. "And we have Monty and Harper to thank for that."

"They did always try to get us to hook up. Too bad we were too stupid to listen to them when they were alive." She'd give anything to have them back here. They were the only two left that still made her feel like family even after all these years.

Monty and Harper gave them another chance to live. And he couldn't let their sacrifice be taken for granted. From now on everything, he'd do would be for them. To live the life they'd want them to live. "May we meet again."

"May we meet again."


End file.
